A Mother's Vocabulary...

• AMNESIA:Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.


• DUMBWAITER:One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.


• FAMILY PLANNING:The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.


• FEEDBACK:The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.


• FULL NAME:What you call your child when you're mad at him/her.


• GRANDPARENTS:The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.


• HEARSAY:What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


• IMPREGNABLE:A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.


• INDEPENDENT:How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


• POW:The first word spoken by children with older siblings.


• PUDDLE:A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes into it.


• SHOW-OFF:A child who is more talented than yours.


• STERILIZE:What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.


• TOP BUNK:Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.


• TWO-MINUTE WARNING:When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.


• VERBAL:Able to whine in words.


• WHODUNIT:None of the kids that live in your house..


• WEEKEND:When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.